“The Sales Moment; Issue #253”
What do you do when faced with an uncomfortable confrontation?
Few of us enjoy having to deal with a situation that involves an upset customer. Or maybe we are stressed out preparing for a difficult negotiation. Regardless, we have a choice in our approach, but how do we decide?
I ask Mr. Carnegie.
I have several mentors in my life. Some are people that I can call and they will help me sort through a situation. Others are virtual mentors and I have access to their wisdom through books, blogs, audio products and podcasts.
I have never met Dale Carnegie. He passed away in 1955 from Hodgkin’s disease just before his 67th birthday. That has not stopped him from being a huge influence on my life and success.
A mentor gave me How to Win Friends and Influence People when I was nineteen years old and it changed my future. It led me to a search for knowledge in books and tapes that transformed my ability to make a living in sales. I am forever grateful.
Many times our gut reaction is to be defensive and feel like we should make a case to prove we are right. Seldom does being right in a confrontation or negotiation bring us the results we desire.
I have learned over and over again that if I ask myself, “What would Dale Carnegie do?” the situation turns out much better than me giving that person a piece of my mind.
The first principle Mr. Carnegie teaches to win people to your way of thinking is:
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
He says, “You can’t win an argument. If you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.”
Winning only gives you temporary satisfaction and it hurts his pride, makes him feel inferior and he will resent you.
“A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.”
Stay calm and avoid your initial instinct to be defensive. Control your temper. Listen first. See the situation from their point of view.
I like to take a deep breath and think through all the scenarios. Many times I will call someone to see if I am correct in my thinking before I confront someone.
Mr. Carnegie is seldom wrong.
Own Your Game!